I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
Randomize
