I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
