My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
Randomize
