one two three fourrrrnication!
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Randomize
