Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
Randomize
