I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
Oh god it's open bar.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
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