She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
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