apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize
