weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
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