I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
So much rum. So many feels.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
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