Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
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