do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
