Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
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