i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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