after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
