you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
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