What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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