Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
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