all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize
