I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
I deserve to be covered in dicks
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize