you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
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