Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
im calling her cock vulture from now on
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
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