Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
Randomize
