found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
Randomize
