Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
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