Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
Randomize
