wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Randomize
