I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
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