I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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