i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
