dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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