What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Randomize
