My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
Randomize
