so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Randomize
