Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
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