Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
Randomize
