When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
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