okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize
