i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
