I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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