whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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