I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
