Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Will exercising make me less horny?
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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