Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize