Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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