So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
Randomize
