It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
Randomize
