I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
