He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
