Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Randomize
