She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
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