Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
