you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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