We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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