Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
I'm bleeding and have questions
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize