Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Randomize
