the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
Randomize
