i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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