that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
My cat gives me a boner
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Randomize
