He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
