Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
