Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
